“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” – Proverbs 12:4 (ESV)
The past few weeks have been very rough on me. Andy was given an amazing work opportunity that will be great for his career, but requires him to be gone Sunday – Thursday every week for 6+ weeks. That means that the running of the household has fallen on me. I have been trying to juggle kids, school, work, Christmas shopping, etc., and at times, my strength has failed me. It’s been especially hard because the Triplets and I are still learning how to navigate as a family.
As much as I even hate to admit it, I had to ask Andy’s forgiveness last week for calling him during a “crisis” and adding stress to his plate instead of turning to my Lord and having Him help me deal with it on my own. It’s a fine line between wanting Andy to know that everything is handled at home and letting him know that he is still needed and missed.
I have often felt like a failure in the past few weeks, but today Andy sent me this incredible email that not only blessed my heart tremendously, but helped me refocus:
“Every time I’ve seen a picture of a king on TV or a magazine, I’ve always looked at his crown first. There’s something fascinating about it sitting on his head, covered in jewels, inlaid in gold. It shines and is a symbol of his position and place in the world. It shows his authority to lead. It garners respect from others around him and sets him apart. In effect, it makes him special and without his crown he’s just another man in the room. Without the crown, he cannot accomplish anything. But with it he can build great things, lead others, and care for a kingdom that God has given him.
You are the beautiful crown of my life, Dawn. You make me special and help me accomplish what I set out to do. Without your help I couldn’t do very much. Thank you for lifting me up and supporting me. I hope I am doing the same for you. As a crown you’ll never be hidden or stepped on. Crowns are for wearing and adorning; boots are for stepping and kicking. I love you with all my heart. I’m so very thankful for you.”
As a woman who was raised to be a “Proverbs 31 woman,” I cannot express to you how wonderful it is to hear my husband say this to me. Not that I am a perfect wife (I am not even close), and not that we have a perfect marriage relationship, but isn’t this what we’re all trying to attain? For our husbands to feel supported and secure, to know that his wife is behind him no matter what. This certainly isn’t a prideful thing for me, but much more of an admonishment and reminder of what my husband needs from me. May I always be able to let go of my selfish ways, my need to be reaffirmed, and my complaining and put my husband first. Not an easy task by any means, but well worth it to gain favor in the sight of my husband and God.
(Originally written in 2012)